Baby I'm Back, Yeah
August 24, 2005 2:16 p.m.
Well, I decided to just go ahead and bite the bullet and join today. It was just as well. After I signed my son in, I could feel the tears pricking the backs of my eyes, and I had to get out of there before I started crying in front of all the well adjusted parents who didn't seem the least bit phased to be leaving their babies in the hands of complete strangers.
Well, maybe not complete. But still. My baby is in school, and dh isn't here to see it.
As luck would have it, I got the leader I just don't feel is a good match for me. Figures. I'm going to try and see if being an upbeat perky happy fat girl will help matters. We'll have to see. It struck me as odd that during the meeting, she emphasized if you lost 0.7 lbs, she was happy, and would be cheering you on... that 0.7 is well within the WW recommended weekly loss of 0.5-2 lbs per week. Blah blah blah. NOT what she told me whenever it was that I had had a loss of 'only' 0.6. Whatever. I'm going to give this a chance, and at the first sign of negativity, I'll transfer centers. I really would like this one to work - a 12:30 meeting on a Wednesday is perfect. I got there with about 10 minutes to spare, had time to sign up, weigh in, and relax a bit before the meeting started. And, with it being a Wednesday, I don't have to feel like I need to deprive myself over the weekend because that Monday weigh in is just around the corner.
Good stuff.
Okay, so I hadn't gained QUITE as much as I thought I had. I weighed in today at 325. Not good, but it could have been much, much worse.
MUCH worse. Think entire cakes in one night followed by entire pints of B & J kind of worse.
I felt like I'd been given a reprive.
So my 10% goal is 292.5. That is so, so do-able, even with that big '2' in front. I've done my 10% before, and while it wasn't particularly easy, it wasn't that hard, either. Hopefully this time will be the key to breaking that hurdle.
I know I don't sound very positive. I'm trying, honest. I just can't get out of the funk of past mistakes, and it's hard to convince myself that this time will be different. You can only lie to yourself so much. I'm trying, so it's not like I've given up. I just need to slowly learn that this is possible, and that I can do this.
Let's pray this time, no major tradgedy occurs to knock me down.
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