If I could only puke...

October 09, 2004 5:24 p.m.

We had Rally's for dinner. A nice big, cheesy, bacon-y, pile of fat. With double meat. And a side of fries. Can't forget the fries.

I feel like throwing up. It's been so long since I ate so badly. We saw the commercial on tv, and thought yum! Surely we deserve such a tasty treat after going without for so long. The first bite was delicious, I got to admit... and the last. About 2 minutes after I finished, I got that queasy, I'm going to burp-puke-die feeling.

After the initial nausea passed, I went to take a nice hot bath. That always tends to make me feel better. While I was in there, I picked up Dr. Phil's weight loss book. I bought it last fall when I was on Weight Watchers, but haven't spent too much time looking over it. Just not too sure how I feel about the whole Dr. Phil thing - I definitely have a love/hate thing for him. Anyway, there's a section in there on choosing food for good nutrition, and it says something about allowing yourself a splurge now and then.

It makes sense to think I'm not going to ever stop eating junk food. I ate crap often, and in large amounts. The idea is to eat crap less often, and in smaller amounts than before. The way I'm feeling right now I'm just not sure if I can actually do that or not.

It would probably be a better idea to cut out junky hambugers and greasy fries from now on. I'm not saying I'm not going to eat fast food - just going to try. The monster burgers are still going to tempt me, I know. But hopefully I can read back over this entry when one of those cravings come and realize that it's not going to hit the spot like I think it's going to.

Now's the time to chug the water and pray this feeling passes soon.

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