Figuring Stuff Out

October 01, 2004 11:53 p.m.

I came so close to meeting my little mini-challenge, to exercise the last 4 days of September. I did the first 3 days, but DH had doctor appointments all day long on the 30th, and to make excuses, I was too busy to do anything that 4th day.

Oye.

I DID come close, though. I figure that's got to count for something.

I've been looking over old weight charts of mine, and I've got to say I was kicking butt there for a while. I was down 40 lbs at one point. Funny how it just didn't seem like much at the time. I don't want to do that to myself this time, make every effort seem like nothing even though it actually IS something to be proud of.

It's hard to believe I'm able to lose well on so many points per day. I'm eating an outrageous amount of food, and not all of it is healthy. I need to stop doing that. It's NOT okay to save 10 points for snacking after dinner. That's a hell of a lot of points going to junk. I need to stop rationalizing that it's okay to indulge because I wouldn't be able to get all my points in otherwise. That may be partly true, but really... how much longer can I lie to myself? I'm not going to stop snacking, since I love it so gosh darned much - but I'm going to start eating more often throughout the day and see what happens.

I figured out what was causing all those major cravings last week - that insane urge to shove food down my throat til I passed out. I was blessed with AF not long after I started wanting to overeat. Excuse me for a minute while I bitch and moan about how it's just not fair for me to only be 3 months postpartum, exlusively breastfeeding, AND having my period! Just not fair how some women don't get it for a year or more and here I am ONLY 3 months postpartum and already getting to enjoy the sheer pleasure of mood swings and an insane appetite.

On the bright side, if this thing proves to be regular I can plan for the increase in appetite and keep lots of low point snacks around - the kind that I can almost trick myself into believing is the real thing.

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